bully's
by linw1
Summary: a story that means alot to me. a story with alot of thruth in it. a story i believe you should read.


Title: Bully's

Writer: Linw1

Disclaimer: any well known characters do not belong to me. The song in this chapter does belong to me. I wrote it myself so please don't use it without my permission.

Chapter 1

The girl sat down on a piece of wood, at the beginning of the forest. She was waiting for her boyfriend to show up. She was early so she had to wait for a while. She didn't mind it was silent in the forest and the sun was shining. She felt at ease. That hadn't happened for some time. She never felt completely safe or at ease. She took paper and a pencil out of her backpack an begun to write:

_Title: Old man_

_Couplet:_

_There you are, you caught my eye before._

_The lines of life, carved deeply in your face._

_Your eyes close to empty._

_Staring into nothing, seeing nothing._

_Corus:_

_An old man, dressed in worn clothes._

_That marked face, I wonder what's behind._

_An old man, amidst people._

_Couplet:_

_The subway stops, I wonder what your thoughts are._

_You remain seated, then you rush out._

_On your way you pass a garbage bin._

_You carefully check its contents, looking for something to eat._

_Corus:_

_An old man, dressed in worn clothes._

_That marked face, I wonder what's behind._

_An old man, amidst people._

_Corus:_

_An old man, dressed in worn clothes._

_That marked face, I wonder what's behind._

_An old man, amidst people._

_End: an old man in worn clothes._

When she finished the song she decided to go for a walk in the forest. She checked her watch one last time to see if she still had enough time for a walk. Then she stood up put her writing material away and locked her bike. Then she picked up her backpack and started to walk into the forest.

The forest was calm and peaceful and she soon felt her thoughts wandering.

She had some though years behind her, and was just recently really happy. And her boyfriend had a great deal to do with that happiness.

It all started when she was 6 years old and sitting in the third class of primary school.

She was a happy kid who liked to play, but had trouble finding friends she only had one real friend and she knew her from birth. While her friend Eva was well liked and was popular with everybody, she was the exact opposite. She didn't lay well with the other children. She was pretty much non existed, they talked to her yes but she didn't had any real friends other than Eva. At the time the girl was playing with several children never belonging to one group but playing with everyone who was willing to let her play with them. Don't think she was lonely or sad, no she wasn't she was contend with what she had. That year they learned the usual stuff you learn in third grade. Reading, writing, math etc. she was very good at reading and picked it up rather fast. The writing was going good. But the math that was were the problem was. At the end of the year the girl had a boyfriend called Dennis. The year ended and she went to fourth grade.

The original third class was separated and the girl and her best friend Eva got separated. The girl was sad because she wasn't in the same class as her friend. But they agreed to still be seeing each other after class. And so began the fourth year. The girl was in a differed class and half of the class were third class. There were many new faces. And they got new groups in class. And once again she wasn't in one of them. She was in a group were all the members weren't popular. The group existed of 3 members. Ilonka the girl who was rather fat. But was nice and kind. And Saskia, who had glasses and was short and shy. And as last the girl. They are what most popular boys and girl describe as the losers or nerds. They sat together in class. But they were the underdogs of the class.

This year something changed for the girl, she was behind with her work for math and couldn't keep up with the rest of the class. So the school decided that she had to get extra help. At the half of the year the school decided that the girl would take individual lessons in math. So every time the rest of the class was doing math, the girl would get out of the class and do easier work with another teacher. They started with testing how fast the girl would be with solving simple math problems like 2+8. She had to solve those problems as fast as possible. Out of her head no paper or fingers were allowed. And there was the problem the girl couldn't solve those problems without using her fingers. And while the other class members could do it out of there heads. They were faster and could solve more complicate problems. But the girl needed a huge amount of time to solve those problems. So she stayed behind with her work.

So through the year she would get training from the teacher to become faster with solving the problems. She learned the things slower than the rest of the class. So when she was in class she still would sit with her friends Ilonka and Saskia.

When the year was over she went to fifth grade. And again she had the same class. Only now there had changed something. The other class members started to ignore the girl. The only people she played and talked to were Ilonka and Saskia and Eva. But Eva was still in another class so in class there were only Ilonka and Saskia.

The girl really liked to read and she was way better in it than all the other class members. The contact between the girl and the others was getting more and more difficult. Till that one day, that was when it all started. One of the boys who was in her class thought it was funny to take the book were the girl was reading in and threw it on the ground. The boy's name was Thijs. That was when it got worse and worse. Because it didn't stay with only the book that was being thrown on the ground. The other class members started to take things away and hide them from the girl. She always was looking for something. And in the break she was standing with Ilonka and Saskia because she wasn't allowed to play with the others. They wouldn't let her join.

It was becoming harder and harder for the girl to be happy and say things to others. She still tried to talk to them. But they would just do as if she didn't existed. And one day one of the girls who was popular said to the girl that she wasn't smart enough because she couldn't do any math. The way how it was said hurt the girl. Lucky she still had the boyfriend from third class. But he didn't stick up for her. The class started to call her names and throw her books from her table. Tow paper at her head. This continued until the seventh class.

In the seventh class there was coming a new student into the class. He was very aggressive and was in fights with the other boy's. the girl tried to stop the fighting and eventually it worked. The boy who was named Govert became a friend of her. By this time Eva and the girl were once again in the same class. It was going good for the girl or so she thought. She was still being bullied. And this year in the middle of the year something much worser happened. She was standing alone in the hallway looking for a new book she could read. And there came a group of her classmates walking down the hallway. The surrounded her and one of the boy's grabbed her by her neck and started to strangle her. Eventually the boy released her and walked way laughing with the rest of the group. The called her out and left her behind but not after threatening her to not tell to the teachers. The girl sat down crying and breathing hard to get as much air in her body.

Not long after this happened a guy from the group threatening her. She was not allowed to see her boyfriend anymore. But she had to become his girlfriend. She refused and he started to stalk her. He followed her every were and told her things like I can see you from outside your window and I will keep an eye on you and if you ever see your boyfriend ever again. I will . . . he left that threat open for her own imagination. The girl was scared to death and told every thing to her mother who then went to the teacher and the boy was punished for what he had done. He didn't bother the girl ever again. But the girl was getting lonely when ever school was out she would be sitting on her room upstairs and make up story's. usually over DBZ she would be very strong and be friends with Prince vegeta and goku and all the rest. She would help them safe the earth. And before she knew she started to hide her real feelings. She was living in her own world. She still talked to people but she didn't need any friends because of the story's she created. She was often acting those out when she was alone. She was even talking to her "friends". She wasn't mad or something. No she knew those persons didn't exist but she had nobody else other than her best friend and Eva wasn't always around. And she could let those imaginary friend say what ever she wanted. Those "friends" didn't hurt her or bully her. She was safe with them.

This continued all trough group 8 and the first class of high school. The second year in high school she was once again separated from her best friend Eva. Once again a new class. She had a hope that she would be accepted here. But once again there was a group of girls who didn't liked the girl. She had gotten glasses in the beginning of the year. She was shy and didn't do or said anything back when they bullied her. She had still trouble with her math. And the girls were saying the girl was faking the problem. They told her that and the girl tried to explain to them it wasn't that way. But they didn't listen. So the girl walked away and didn't show any emotion other than a friendly face but on the inside she was crying and slowly breaking. From that moment on she never let anyone see the real girl. She put on a mask and never took it of. When there was break she would stand with friends. Yes she had a few by then but they were in differed classes. And Eva was standing with her own friends and she rarely saw Eva on school anymore. They still had contact but that was out of school.

The friends were she was standing with in the breaks on school were real friends but they didn't know the girl behind the mask. So the girl continued to make up story's with her in the leading role. It was her comfort that was the only place she could be totally herself.

The bullying started to get worse in third grade of high school. That was the year one of the bully's set the girls hair on fire. She didn't think and hit the bully unconscious. She wasn't that much of a fighter but it was her safety on that moment. She was in danger and she acted on it. That girl never bullied her again. The others still bullied her. And the girl continued to perfect her mask. By now you couldn't see if the girl was acting. She had successfully perfected her mask. She even fooled her best friend with it. It was fourth year and her final year on this school. She had the reputation to be quiet and shy and she was called a nerd. She was best pal's with the teachers. And was quiet in class and did her work. The bullying continued and also her last year on the school was hard and difficult for the girl. She decidet to become a nurse and started the year on that school. And for the first time she wasn't bullied anymore. But because of the bullying she didn't trust people anymore and had no self confidence. She made a few friends but she did not let her mask down. Till one of the "teachers" there saw trough her mask and helped her by talking to let the mask go.

The girl walked back to her bike. And saw that her boyfriend was already there. She apologised for being late. And they went to her house.

**Author note****'s**

You will probably be curious now who this girl is. I will tell you. This story is real it really happened. I can know because unfortunately the girl in the story is me. Do not be sad and do not pitty me! I became stronger. But there are not much people who come out of bullying and be strong. People and especially children do not know what they do to people. How much pain and suffering the bullying can cause.

Some of the things I have told you are really bad but you can damage someone's elf esteem by only saying "I think your fat." Or "I think your ugly." Be careful what you say to people and please never ever start bullying people just because they act differed than you. Or because they do things you don't think are normal. Because the wounds you inflict upon people they will carry the rest of there lives.

I am happy now I have a wonderful boyfriend and friends. My boyfriend loves me and I love him, he supports me and says I'm beautiful and pretty. But because of what my bullies said to me it is hard to believe someone really find me pretty. I just start to believe him. And he is the best boyfriend I could wish for. He understands me and he is there for me when I need him.

I'm now 17 years old and still I have scars from the bullying I do not trust people easily. I still put on a mask if I meet a lot of new people in one group. I'm uncomfortable when I am in frond of a strange group of people on my own. When my boyfriend took me a couple of weeks back to a party of a friend of his. I already knew this friend I got uncomfortable because there were a lot of people there who I didn't knew. If he hadn't been there I would had such a great time. He helped me and assured me just by being with me. One of his friends got drunk and touched me on my shoulder close to my neck. I got scared my boyfriend was sitting next to me and took my hand. If he hadn't done that I do not know how I would have reacted. But I probably would have stood up and left the party.

I don't let people touch me I feel uncomfortable with it. I do not like hugs some of the girls greet you with an enthusiastic hug. I don't like that it scares me. You see how great of an impact the bullying has on my life. And I was lucky to meet that teacher. He really helped me to set the first steps to my healing and existence of what happened. I really am grateful for what he did. That is one of the reasons that I write this story.

The story isn't complete, if you want to know more about what happened to me. Or you want to talk if you have been or still being bullied. You can always sent me an email on this email adres: 


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